


Like the Taste of a Midnight Kiss

by Nina36



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-22
Updated: 2013-01-22
Packaged: 2017-11-26 12:13:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/650408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina36/pseuds/Nina36
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She could count the days, the hours and the minutes, especially on that last day, feeling all the urgency, the finality of those seconds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like the Taste of a Midnight Kiss

Like the taste of a midnight kiss.   
They say good bye, tidal waves, always destined to meet again and again.   
Sometimes she thinks it was written in the stars, a constellation of little smiles, lingering touches, what ifs and secret dreams.  
Their embrace taste like tears, like rain, like countless hugs, warm and secret, shared in their days together.  
She could count the days, the hours and the minutes, especially on that last day, feeling all the urgency, the finality of those seconds.  
This is the last time that...  
This is the last time we...  
This is the last time he'll...  
They keep their distance, it's self imposed, because they know, they feel...and that's still a problem. It’s the real problem, after all.   
There's smoke in the air, thick and grey, there's music, it's loud, it's about love, loss and happiness and the irony isn't lost on them or so Karen thinks when her eyes meet Matt’s for a second…and then it’s suddenly too much. She has to leave.   
One time, for a brief moment, they felt invincible, they felt like they could have it all.   
One time, on a cold, harsh morning, reality was shoved in front of them...numbers, figures and diagrams.  
One time, they made a choice...  
And now they smile, because they're actors, they're good actors, they can do that: smile in front of colleagues, smile in front of cameras, his arm around her waist, fingers still clinging possessively, her shoulder brushing his, a smile for the camera as her mind is racing..  
Matt's smile, the first day on set, his hand warm, taking hers, to give her courage. Matt's eyes, at dawn, so green and soulful. Matt's smell, on her jumpers, on her skin, after long days together.   
Matt's lips, on hers, feather like caresses and promises in each kiss. Matt's arms draped around her body, holding her tight, his breath tickling her neck as they both fell asleep, their legs twined.  
Matt's words, over and over, ringing in her ears, drumming in her heart, flowing in her blood.  
Their choice.   
Matt's smile, just few days ago, as she accepted an award...the way he had held his breath, when she had thanked him, like he did the first time she told him she loved him.  
One time...when they had it all.  
It’s cold outside, a sharp wind cleansing her from the smoke she can still smell on herself, helping her with the stinging she can still feel in her eyes, because no one would ever notice tears in such a sharp, strong wind.   
The tile is cold, against her temple and it’s a relief, since she can feel them throbbing, her heart racing. She takes in big gulps of air, surprised by how much it burns…almost as if she’s been holding her breath without even noticing.   
One time, they were happy, making plans for the future, almost delirious with happiness because future meant Matt and Karen, together, in a new flat, with just a futon, Matt's books and their clothes...and eating in bed and making love while listening to Elvis Preseley.   
One time, it was their reality, their lives...  
She feel his presence, the cadence of his step, the air fills with him or, maybe, she thinks with a small smile, it is just them: Matt and Karen...and she would always, always recognize him.  
"I was looking for you..." He says, behind her.   
She doesn't turn, doesn't talk. There’s no point in saying bitter words, or any...for that matter. Not now, not while she’s taking deep breaths and it’s so bloody good to be able to breathe.   
"Aren't you cold?" He asks, taking a step closer to her, ignoring her silence, or maybe he’s been listening to her breathing…he used to do that, he used to know every single detail about her. It used to scare her…now she just misses it…she just misses him.   
Her body tenses, reacts to his proximity...like the first time, like every time.   
"I am" She admits, still not looking at him.   
They aren't acting now, she can't draw strength from his eyes, from the love for her in them, knowing she would have to go away, then...to renounce it. She is not that strong…and neither is he. They’re screwed up and they make choices and they have to live with them.   
"Kaz..." He trails, his voice unsure, and she can hear something in it…something not even his training as an actor can really disguise…the heart in his throat, the effort to try, the love…oh, God…the love for her.   
"I love you" She blurts out. And it isn't Earth shattering news. He knows that, she knows that...everyone does.   
It’s just how it is: the Earth is round, water is wet, Karen loves Matt...and he loves her back.  
But choices, compromises, reality had had other ideas...and now things are different.   
She closes her eyes when she feels his fingers on her naked shoulder, his fingertips brushing the soft skin of her neck.  
"Please..." She whispers.  
Go away  
Hold me...  
Tell me it's been a nightmare...  
She feels hesitation in Matt, and she sighs...not even trying to fight the tears, now.   
And then he is there, his body pressed against hers, shielding her from that bristling cold, filling the void in her, his lips whispering against her hear, “I love you…I don’t care, I just…love you”  
Matt’s arm is wrapped around her waist, and she turns her head, to meet his face; he’s smiling…and it’s the smile that made her fall in love with him, the smile that made her feel invincible, precious and loved.  
“What about…” She trails and Matt silences her words with a kiss, soft, lingering. It’s a promise, a oath…it forever…  
“I don’t care…” He says.  
“They will…they won’t let you…” She says, and there’s real desperation, now, in her voice. “They’ll never let us…”  
Matt smiles, though, and shakes his head, “I guess we will have to do things differently…”  
She moves, to face him better, her arms circling his neck and she feels lightheaded at how right it feels, her chest hurts for how much she had missed being in his arms.   
“How?” She asks.  
“We will be together…” He says, he kisses her again, “and if we have to we're gonna keep on running 'til we see the sun."  
~fin


End file.
